Intimacy Issues for Women

 A Group of Her Own is a Woman’s Issue program providing a warm environment for women to openly discuss problems in intimacy, identity and relationship. A Group of Her Own meets on Wednesday evenings from 6:00 to 7:30. For more information please use the Contact Form below.

Intimacy issues for women aren’t necessarily about the act itself. In fact, they are not even primarially about the act.  Self confidence, physical and mental health…all create the very complex environment in which women learn to avoid or express intimacy.  The evident problems plaguing women for generations revolve around self- confidence and confidence in their womanhood. Childhood experiences often come into play.

Some women have never had much interest in intimacy to begin with; and for countless others their interest in lovemaking has diminished as they have aged.  Yet other women are scrutinized and judged deeply for their overt interest.  No wonder men claim that they cannot understand us!

A Topic Finally Open For Discussion

Women through the ages have been judged harshly and controlled by societal pressures in these arenas.  Medicine and Psychology have been very slow to address these questions.  Add to this the fact that the physical apparatus of women-the vagina-has usually been through a lot by the time she reaches her thirties or fourties and we have a really convoluted question.  Chicken and egg, causal realtionship stuff!

Open discussion about lovemaking is a recent advance because anything concerning the subject was pretty much taboo, even as recently as ten to twenty years ago. Sure, sex education has been taught in some schools, but the subject is definitely not one that parents and society welcomed with open arms or even yet agree on. Many intimacy issues for women are simply left over hang-ups that date back to the archaic societal attitude from previous generations. The relationships that women form and the type of men we constantly attract are a direct result of our inherent experiences.  And these we continue to play out until they have been properly resolved. Trouble letting go and getting satisfaction? Chances are the something that’s holding you back, has little if anything to do with technique or a lack of experience. We now know it that the term that was often used to describe such women “frigidity” has no single basis in science or fact.

In fact that term was effective only in its attempt at laying blame upon women for somethign they were only partially responsible for. The education of men has been responsible for alleviating much of the  problem.  And only some men have gotten the cue!  Yet still, not all women understand their responsibility in the goal to have a happy, active and satisfying intimate experience.   

Why Women Have Intimacy Issues

Intimacy issues for women may manifest physically through inability to experience desire or fulfillment (sometimes described as satsifaction) in an intimate relationship. Often the emotional aspect generating or inhibiting desire is the real culprit causing the majority of intimacy issues for women in today’s more open and, supposedly, free world.

Considering that touching oneself was often considered as evil and that lovemaking was a male rite of passage that women simply had to endure; it’s no wonder that so many women suffer intimacy issues still to this day. These attitudes toward the subject are ingrained and can be difficult to shake off, despite the changes of the late twentieth century. Viagra for example has increased many an older man’s interest, but women of the same age are now complaining. Some women have laughingly but seriously preferred things just as they were before Viagra.

Learning How to Overcome Intimacy Issues Naturally

Many intimacy issues for women can be overcome by learning relaxation techniques as well as feeling good about personal fulfillment and femininity. But this is often a function of the hormonal levels and changes women have lived thorough childbirth, use of “the pill”, surgeries to remove uteruses and ovaries, and endocrinal changes.  The Viagra for women rests generally in treating these phisiological issues for women.

Obviously if anything feels uncomfortable or wrong, simply stop. You shouldn’t do anything that you don’t want to. Don’t be pressured into something you are not sure about; lovemaking should never feel intrusive. Hopefully with a little TLC and understandings your partner may help you overcome any intimacy issues that you may be experiencing. Do see your GP if the problems persist or worsen, as the reasons behind the issues may also be medical in nature.

Intimacy issues for women continue to challenge women today with their simultaneous simplicity and complexity. The key is for women to speak up and speak out.  Ask and do not quit asking until the question is answered.  For medical tests and insurance policies to pay for them) that can clear up the questions of hormonal changes and for information and education. And yes, sometimes for an opportunity for self reflection with a well trained and experienced counselor.  Yes, there is help out there and a lot that can be done.  And it all starts with YOU!


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